this has basically has turned into a "I'm thankful for flowers and jesus" blog, i realize that. I apologize. but at the same time, that's basically all my life is doing right now.
you're body goes where your mind goes.
i'm trying to keep my mind in the most positive place possible so that hopefully my life and opportunities will follow.
i realize that it's cheesy.
i realize it's kind of dumb.
i realize it's pretty much a cliche.
but that's what cliches are...
they are based on reality.
how do you think they started existing?
anyways...
i'm really thankful for this new Go Radio album that i am finally listening to on nice headphones for the first time.
it's awesome. check them out.
they deserve to be heard.
i'm really grateful for their drummer Steven who takes time out of his life to talk to me on Facebook and thank me for liking and listening to their new album. #fangirlsqueel
but really, i am. it warms my heart when artists realize that they wouldn't be where they were if they didn't have people that actually liked to listen to them.
(duh.)
i'm realizing that school isn't as hard as i make it out to be to myself and anybody that asks.
i'm just not used to actual homework, or studying, or legitimately trying to learn. we all know i'm being completely honest when i say that my last two years of high school had none of those elements involved.
...sorry, mom.
i'm thankful that my apartment complex has two hot tubs so when gross boys are at one, we can go to the other one. and i'm also thankful for really gross boys that make the good ones look even that much better.
i'm thankful that brittany came late for math today so that I could sit next to kirk and he could help ME this time.
please bless that i will get better at this.
it took me six hours to do two sections once. yeah. remember THAT post?
i'm really grateful that Estevan lets me borrow his spanish book. and is the ONLY other person in the class that would say "¡ADELANTE!" with any real gusto.
i'm thankful that i remember what:
mano
maleta
mujer
hombre
que
como
te llamo
por que
mariposa
mean. and i'm also sad that that's legitimately all i can remember without looking at the sheet next to me... como te llamo! and que hora es!!!
i just remembered more.
look at at me.
doin stuff.(:
i'm thankful for my hospitality class that made me say my career goal out loud for the first time today. it felt great.
i'm thankful for these skullcandys.
thanks grantsville high school and ken garff!
i'm reallyreallyreally thankful that i have a job even if it's something different and not what i'm used to. i'm learning a lot more about...the money hungry side of things. which is sad and de-glamorizes the whole of it a little bit, but hey. i had to learn about it at some point, right?
i'm eternally thankful for my roommates. all of them. each and every one.
i'm thankful for long-over-due conversations with old friends.
i'm thankful that ultimately, heavenly father leaves my life up to me. he's given my the guidelines, i know he's there when i need him, and he trusts me.
i have gone on such an incredible journey this past year, learning about who i am, what i want, and more importantly what i deserve. which is happiness, in its simplest form. happiness may not look like now what it did six months ago, but that's fine.
that's what happens.
that's how life works.
you experience.
you change.
you learn.
you grow.
there is however one ingredient to happiness that nevereverever changes. and that is the spirit in our lives. the more we accommodate it, and make it comfortable in our lives, the more it will want to be there, the more it will feel like it's welcome to stay. it will want to stay and direct us through hard decisions to the choice that will make us the happiest.
why would we not want that?
why would we give that up for a dirty joke that made two of our friends think we were funny?
why would we give that up just so we could watch a temporal, split-second-in-eternity movie?
why would we give that up just to feel loved and kiss this boy just a few moments too long?
why would we give that up for someone that
doesn't feel the same way?
i feel so rude and self-righteous when i talk like this. i don't know why. it's stuff i feel inside. that i'm learning about. that i found that i actually feel really strongly about...and i guess i'm not saying that anyone needs to feel the same way i do. not at all. so i guess it's not as pushy as i thought it was?
idk.
leave me alone.
i mean, it's not like anyone but my mom, maybe kacy, and apparently bekah, read this anyway, so it's fine.
i don't feel like any of them hear my testimony enough anyways.
it's here, guys! i promise! i have one!
(because of them, actually. thank you.)
basically, god is great, satan is bad, and life is just as good as you make it.
or as bad as you make it!
karma is a very real thing.
it's no longer time for selfish-ashtyn.
now it's time for...i'm-working-on-it-ashtyn.
which is fine!
sometimes...that's all you can ask for.
i'm thankful that i remember what:
mano
maleta
mujer
hombre
que
como
te llamo
por que
mariposa
mean. and i'm also sad that that's legitimately all i can remember without looking at the sheet next to me... como te llamo! and que hora es!!!
i just remembered more.
look at at me.
doin stuff.(:
i'm thankful for my hospitality class that made me say my career goal out loud for the first time today. it felt great.
i'm thankful for these skullcandys.
thanks grantsville high school and ken garff!
i'm reallyreallyreally thankful that i have a job even if it's something different and not what i'm used to. i'm learning a lot more about...the money hungry side of things. which is sad and de-glamorizes the whole of it a little bit, but hey. i had to learn about it at some point, right?
i'm eternally thankful for my roommates. all of them. each and every one.
i'm thankful for long-over-due conversations with old friends.
i'm thankful that ultimately, heavenly father leaves my life up to me. he's given my the guidelines, i know he's there when i need him, and he trusts me.
i have gone on such an incredible journey this past year, learning about who i am, what i want, and more importantly what i deserve. which is happiness, in its simplest form. happiness may not look like now what it did six months ago, but that's fine.
that's what happens.
that's how life works.
you experience.
you change.
you learn.
you grow.
there is however one ingredient to happiness that nevereverever changes. and that is the spirit in our lives. the more we accommodate it, and make it comfortable in our lives, the more it will want to be there, the more it will feel like it's welcome to stay. it will want to stay and direct us through hard decisions to the choice that will make us the happiest.
why would we not want that?
why would we give that up for a dirty joke that made two of our friends think we were funny?
why would we give that up just so we could watch a temporal, split-second-in-eternity movie?
why would we give that up just to feel loved and kiss this boy just a few moments too long?
why would we give that up for someone that
doesn't feel the same way?
i feel so rude and self-righteous when i talk like this. i don't know why. it's stuff i feel inside. that i'm learning about. that i found that i actually feel really strongly about...and i guess i'm not saying that anyone needs to feel the same way i do. not at all. so i guess it's not as pushy as i thought it was?
idk.
leave me alone.
i mean, it's not like anyone but my mom, maybe kacy, and apparently bekah, read this anyway, so it's fine.
i don't feel like any of them hear my testimony enough anyways.
it's here, guys! i promise! i have one!
(because of them, actually. thank you.)
basically, god is great, satan is bad, and life is just as good as you make it.
or as bad as you make it!
karma is a very real thing.
it's no longer time for selfish-ashtyn.
now it's time for...i'm-working-on-it-ashtyn.
which is fine!
sometimes...that's all you can ask for.
i love this.
ReplyDeleteand you.
and "i'm-working-on-it-ashtyn"... it's a nice sequel to "freshtyn" don't you think? (;
thanks for being you <3
Me llamo la mamacita :) Yes? No? Vague memories of high school Spanish. You write beautifully. One of your many talents. It doesn't matter who or how many people read this. It's always nice to be "heard," but I find when I put my thoughts to paper I am reaffirming to myself the things that I know, feel, and believe in. This will be your "school journey" for your honey (whoever he may be), and your kids. You should be printing these out and putting them in a binder.
ReplyDeleteYou will never hear me say "I told you so," when it comes to no homework or studying the last couple years of school. I knew it would bite you in the butt, but I also believed, and prayed and prayed and prayed, that you would get it figured out. And guess what? You're doing just that. Love you, my girl.
Shoot, did I just say "I told you so?" lol.....
Delete