i went back home the other day...just for an afternoon to get hermione inspected.

as you can see by the picture, she did not do very well.

only because her battery was tied down with bungee cords (hehe)so cgreenburg and i went to autozone to buy a battery strap. we bought two different kinds before realizing that battery straps that would fit my battery no longer exist. so i took it back to the shop and they had to custom weld one for me.

they earned the 30 bucks i gave them to fix that.

anyways, she's fine now. 

life is fine.

life is good.

life is pretty great, actually.





TooCo lovin

Posted on

Monday, November 26

i made a little appearance, in one of my bff's blog over here.

she's really great and her blog makes me chuckle and miss her.

go check that post out if you want to see what i was doing on november 16th and 17th!

exciting stuff, i assure you.

my mom's a really great woman.
and i would love to take a moment of silence for her and the really awful things i put her through.


thank you.
she's stronger than most, i assure you.
most people would have probably given me up for adoption.


anywho, she shared this poem with me today, and it really struck a chord in me. there are so many valuable truths in it.

even though it's pretty long, if you read my blog, i ask you to read this too. it will be worth your while. it's a really great reminder of how much power we have over our own lives and how we react to the good and bad things that may come our way.

i am so grateful for the life i have given.

i see evidence every single day that god knows me, loves me, and looks after me. if you only stop and look for it, you'll be able to see it too with your own lives.

enjoy.



 Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexation
s to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.



Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. 

 © Max Ehrmann 1927




Desiderata

let me get this straight.
let me see if i'm the only one that feels this way...

or maybe there's something that i'm missing out on?


i have a really hard time letting people know what i actually mean, or what i actually want.

oh, i want to go on a date with this kid that i'm kind of friends with, but if he wanted to go on a date with me, he would've already asked me, right? RIGHT?
right.
so clearly he doesn't want to go out with me.
RIGHT?
so i'll just sit here.
and keep being his friend and never do anything about it.
because obviously that's a lot safer.
----
oh, i am working more than i was supposed to orginally, but i'm the new girl, so if i say anything they'll fire me, right? or maybe they'll say no and it will be super awkward from that point on.
i'd rather work too much than not work at all, so i'll just keep burning myself out.
that's safer in the long run, right?
----
oh, i want to get to know more people in the ward and make more friends, but people don't seem to feel the same way about me, so that must mean that i'd make a complete fool of myself to try and be myself around them and be a little more outgoing.
RIGHT?
so i'll just sit here with my roommates and act as indifferent as everybody else feels.

i'll still be just as happy.

...right?



but what if that boy feels the exact same way that i do? what if he wants to go out with me too?
---
 what if my work actually won't care and they've been trying to find an excuse to hire someone else, but doesn't want to take anyone else's hours away from them?
---
what if there are so many people in my ward that feel the same way? but are too shy and insecure just like me to do anything about it?
everybody needs somebody, right?



so here's my question....

WHY ARE WE SO SCARED TO SAY WHAT WE REALLY FEEL?

Why is it that we let fear dictate our lives?
wouldn't the reward of finding out that somebody feels the same way that you do be more rewarding than not risking rejection at all?


this is where i struggle.


i'm too scared that if i don't act the way that everybody wants me to act, then they aren't going to want anything to do with me.

irrational, i know, but it's my reality.

so instead, i let these feeling build up inside of me.
i start feeling resentful to these people that i hold my feelings from, and it causes so much confusion, because they don't even know what's going on.

guys, i'm a mess.

or is everybody like this?

i'm too scared to find out.



So, if it wouldn't be too much to ask, everybody...
just tell me how you feel.
don't have ulterior motives with me.
don't have hidden meanings behind what your doing.
just be real with me, and i promise i will open up my whole entire heart and life to you.

yeah, it's really that easy guys.

respect me, and you'll become an instant best friend.

i am one of the most loyal people i know.


i don't know what i'm saying anymore.

i don't remember what my point was.


i hope that m didn't throw away my half eaten bag of popcorn.


i get off work in 13 minutes. i'm super stoked.


let's all just love each other.
that's the moral of the story.
that's the kind of world i want to live in.

okay, so wait a sec.

Posted on

Friday, November 23


c103.4 welcomes christmas

Posted on

Wednesday, November 21

i came home from...somewhere...and m and k had started making this delish lunch.

m made some homemade spaghetti sauce, made some homemade garlic bread, bought some martinelli's, and k and i...helped where necessary.

actually now that i remember, k made that salad.

and i made that chicken! and it was super great. i don't think anybody really gets how much i love my roommates and how there is no coincidence that we were brought together for this portion of our lives. we were actually talking about that earlier today.

life is fine. just working too much and going to school.

it's thanksgiving soon, and i guess i'm kind of excited for that. i'm working on it though, so maybe i'm not excited. i'm not quite sure. we will find out.

once upon a time...

blogspot says i get a ridiculous amount of views a day....if that's true why do i have so little comments?!

make your presence known, peeeoooopllllluh.

maybe it would make me blog more.

then you could stalk me more efficiently.



life is great!
just working way too effing much.
and going to school.
and hating that part.


i signed up for hip hop dance next semester and i'm soups excited about that.

i can't wait to tell y'all about it.


also happy birthday week to this fine fellow!



Posted on

Saturday, November 10